Archive for the ‘Health’ tag
How to acquire an extended, more manly butt crack through non-invasive surgery
The world's first surgical butt crack extension
I got Kate to take a photo of my butt a couple of weeks after the operation. I wanted to see it for myself, as you can imagine. The technical term for what they did was a lumbar discectomy, which involves chopping off bits of the ruptured disc that was rubbing against the nerve. I actually feel a bit squeamish reading about it, which isn’t very normal for me.
Apparently the scar is mostly healed over now, and my back is much better than it was. But it’s been a very slow process. I blame those seventies and eighties action movies for my unrealistic expectations, in which the hero has completely forgotten the bullet wound in his arm by the end of the flick and waves goodbye just before the end credits sequence. For two years I could feel an ache at the spot where they must have removed some bone, an odd alien feeling. At least that oddness is gone now. I’m still medicated a lot, and doing anything much besides lying on my stomach or briskly walking is painful.
So I walk the dog and I play videogames. That’s not so bad. And while the waiting list was long, the operation was through the public system and I didn’t have to pay a cent. I still pay almost nothing for analgesics and muscle relaxants, and nothing for physiotherapy.
Someone in my personal and financial situation, living in the US, would not have had such an easy time of it. I imagine I would be living on the streets or something worse by now. Dead, or massively in debt. So universal healthcare definitely gets my two thumbs up.
